Resources for Parents Dealing with Anti-Gay Bullying
Today is the 13th annual National Day of Silence, a project of GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network) to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Today would also have been the 12th birthday of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, a boy who committed suicide last week after endless anti-gay bullying and threats. In honor of both the Day of Silence and young Carl, I would like to compile a list of resources for parents who are dealing with anti-gay bullying in schools. These resources are relevant both to same-sex parents whose children are bullied for their parents' sexuality, as well as straight parents of LGBTQ children.
- Blogger Sanjay Chandra at Mom Logic published a terrific piece today featuring interviews with bullying experts who shared some of their ideas for helping manage the problem. My favorite tip came from Ross Ellis, director of Love Our Children USA about developing a "buddy system":
It's a fact that bullies rarely strike groups — they just don't have the guts. If your child is being harassed, make sure he or she walks around school with a friend, or is within earshot of a teacher. If someone does start bullying your kid, have them look the bully in the eye and say, "I don't like your teasing. Stop it right now." Then they should walk away and report the incident. If the bully pushes, teach your kid not to hit back. Bullies want a reaction, so if the victim reciprocates, the problem will worsen.
- Becoming involved in your child's school is a great way to create relationships with teachers and administrators if you later need to rely on their aid to handle a bullying problem. It will also allow you to connect with other parents with whom you can team up to combat bullying. Sometimes exposure is all parents and students need to understand that gay people are just as average and normal as they are. Robin McClure of About.com lists 12 ways you can Connect With Kids By Volunteering At School/Daycare.
- Encourage your son or daughter to participate in their school's Gay Straight Alliance. If their school does not have one, blogger Ellen Friedrichs walks you through the steps to start one. The sense of belonging and normalcy a GSA provides helps to stabilize a student's situation, and gives them a safe space to share openly with peers and receive support.
- Support groups are important for adults too, and meeting locations for gay and lesbian parents exist across the country. Gay parent magazine has a list of gay parent support groups listed state-by-state for you to attend. If you are having difficulty finding one in your area, a local gay and lesbian nonprofit or LGBT community center may be able to help.
- The Massachusetts Commission on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth has put together a guide to bullying prevention that is useful for both parents and educators. See what your child's school's policy on anti-gay harassment is and if you feel that they are not equipped to deal with bullying, provide them with this resource.
- While I believe that an environment of diverse backgrounds and opinions is vital to building ones character, sometimes homeschooling is an appropriate solution for students who are in at-risk situations as a result of anti-gay bullying. It is not a solution that works for everyone, but it may be appropriate for your situation.
- The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook is an excellent resource for LGBT parents as well. The author, April Martin, is a lesbian parent and psychologist who provides her own knowledge and experience, as well as the advice of several dozen same-sex parents that she has interviewed. The information is invaluable and comprehensive and comes highly recommended.
Do you know of another great resource of same-sex parents or parents of LGBTQ children? Share it in the comments section.
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